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A Year Of Constant Worry

Jill Devine

It hasn’t sunk in that my daughter is a one year old.  Where the heck did the last year go?  Oh, I know … obsessing (good and bad) over my daughter.  It still feels very surreal to say I have a daughter.  This past year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride.  There have been so many ups and downs, but hands down, this has been the best year of my life.  Ok, I won’t lie … the hardest year of my life as well.

No one can prepare you for motherhood.  There were a ton of clichés that I heard before giving birth to Lu, but I secretly thought some of those clichés wouldn’t apply to me.  WRONG!  Ironically, I stumbled across this blog, 15 Motherhood Clichés That Turned Out To Be TRUE, and had to admit agreeance.

Here are some examples:

*Prepare for sleep deprivation – When I was prego, I would get so angry at anyone who would tell me I was about to never sleep again.  I wanted to yell SCREW YOU, but I decided not to.  I should have because I could have blamed the pregnancy hormones on my outburst.  Well, I never knew how sleep deprived I would be.  Seriously.  So. Sleep. Deprived.  It doesn’t help that I don’t have a great sleeper, on top of ME being a lover of sleep and naps!

*Going out is a chore – You choose what’s worth it and what’s not.  It’s a lot to get yourself ready and then a baby ready AND then you have to pack a diaper bag.  It’s a lot.  I’m exhausted by the time I even get to the car.

*You’ll buy more stuff for your kids than yourself – Yup, yup, and yup.  I still wear some of my maternity clothes because I care more about her wardrobe than mine!

*You’ll understand how important wine is  – SO IMPORTANT!

*Time goes by much faster than it ever has before – I swear I just gave birth a week ago.

*You’ll worry much more – The author of the blog said it best:

I thought getting pregnant was worrisome. Then I got pregnant and I was worried. Then I was in labor and I was worried. Now she’s here, and I’m worried all the time. I worry about her weight, her development, her safety, her health, her future, and happiness. In fact, there hasn’t been a day that she’s been alive that I haven’t worried or thought about her. This definitely doesn’t go away. You’ll be worrying about your baby until the day you die!

Yes, yes, yes and YES!  I could NOT agree more with the above.  All I do is worry.  How can I not?  I’m in charge of a human being.  I am responsible for teaching her wrong from right.  She looks to me as an example, so yes, I WORRY ALL THE TIME!

At the end of the day, being a parent is a learning process and you have to learn as you go.  Mistakes will be made and that’s ok.  I constantly remind myself that it’s ok to mess up and you have to learn as you go.

With all that being said, I guess it’s time for me to get mushy.  I will keep it simple.  I sure do love her with all I have and I can’t imagine my life without her.

Louise “Lu” Christine – I’m excited for the next year of constant worry and the next year, and the next year, and the next year …

I love you more and more every day.

img 0478 A Year Of Constant Worry

Photo Credit: Jill Devine

img 0480 A Year Of Constant Worry

Photo Credit: Jill Devine

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